f my own. I go with my sons to the park where, illegally, we let our huge dog off the leash and keep on the lookout for a policeman who might catch us and give us a ticket. For the longest time I used to pull my little daughter across the middle of the street—just like my mother used to do!—warning her, “Don’t do this when I’m not with you.”
When the clerk at a supermarket makes a mistake in my favor I sometimes accept it quietly, rationalizing that this makes up for one of the many times I’m sure he’s overcharged me. This kind of negotiating with principle allows me to do what I want instead of what I should do. Because it is difficult to live by one’s high principles. So shame is another reason for hypocrisy. Shame that we are not better than we are.
Webster says that hypocrisy is the false assumption of virtue, a simulation of goodness. Pretending, in other words, to be better than we are. Is this because we are always wanting to be better? Or only that we want to fool people into thinking that we are? When we practice a religion that preaches a concern for our fellow men, do we deliberately march out of church and refuse to rent an apartment to a black family, knowing only too well that this is hypocritical? Or do we all live our lives on two tracks because we have, somewhere along the line, come to the subliminal conclusion that such schizophrenia is essential to our survival in this country at this time?
当我还是小女孩时，母亲就告诉我，过马路只能在拐角处，并且要等交通信号灯变绿。我照做了，事实上，我很肯定，如果在红灯时往人行道外跨出一步，就会像土豆一样被碾成泥。我照着母亲的话去做。后来，我发现她自己经常乱穿马路，拉着我的手在车流中躲闪避让。所以，不久后，我也学着她的样子，不听她的劝告了。
父亲告诉我不要撒谎或偷窃。记得六岁时，有一天，我偷了一个来访叔叔放在窗台上的三毛钱，被当众打屁股，受到奇耻大辱。可是，我到了该买地铁全票的年龄时，父亲会让我躲避，看电影也只买半票。母亲也经常把她办公室的很多文具和其他物品拿回家。
父母对我的撒谎行为会处以严厉的惩罚。但我知道，在他们认为有理由的时候，就会相互欺骗，或对我和别人撒谎。
当然，这只是其中一部分，我花了很长一段时间，才弄清楚他们在性、种族关系、宗教方面的伪善。高中毕业以后才完全了解，但这些细致的了解并没有影响到我，这些年来，我对此已经相当有研究。十八九岁时，我觉得自己已经长大，能够理解和面对所看到的一切。我和朋友们，都对这一切熟视无睹了。父母和祖父母们都是那样。对于父辈们，我们只能用“伪善”这个词来形容。我们多数人接纳了伪善，如同生活的一部分——其实事情本来就是这样。
现在，