最后一班公交车,扯上几乎没什么人了,小雅一直靠在我肩膀,我们带着同一个耳机,里面放着一首熟悉的歌,《Tonight I Wanna Cry》
lone in this house again tonight
I got the TV on,
the sound turned down and a bottle of wine
There's pictures of you and I on the walls around me
The way that it was and could h**e been surrounds me
I'll never get over you walkin' away
i ve never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
and i thought that bein' strong meant never losin your self control
but i m just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
Would it help if I turned a sad song on
\"All By Myself\" would sure hit me hard now
that you're gone
Or maybe unfold some old yellow lost love letters
It's gonna hurt bad before it gets better
But I'll never get over you by hidin' this way
I've never been the kind to ever let my feelings show
and i thought that bein' strong meant never losin your self control
but i m just drunk enough to let go of my pain
To hell with my pride, let it fall like rain From my eyes
Tonight I wanna cry
听着伤感的音乐,我又想起了当时我们分手的时候,我也是这样,把自己关在房间里,让电视开着,音量调低,喝着啤酒发呆,看着手机里的照片,始终不能接受小雅的离去。我也从未像这样让我的情绪毫无顾忌的流露,因为我一直认为一个坚强的人决不会丧失对自己情绪的控制,但我已经喝了许多酒试图摆脱痛苦,还管得上什么自尊,让泪像雨水一样从涌出来!
但是现在,不同了,看看身边的小雅,在看看我,我们谁都没有变,变化的是时间。我喜欢上了刘晓,而小雅也不顾一切的喜欢上了另一个人。
车停下来了,我的思绪也好像飞到了终点一样,停在了那里!
把小雅安顿在了学校门口的旅馆,我们呆呆的望着棚顶的,望了很久,她不知道在和我说些什么了,我也不知道在说些什么了。
不想说太多丧气话,也不想说太多过去,但是我们在一起这么长时间了,很难免提起过去,我害怕我一张口是就讲述我们在一起的故事,她也害怕。我们就这样,望着天花板,一直望着,直到我听见小雅肚子咕噜噜的叫声。
“你饿了?”
小雅红着脸:“刚刚没吃什么东西。”
我叹了一口气:“你刚刚打完胎,需要营养,不能饿肚子。我去给你买点吃的吧!”
小雅红着脸:“你对我真好!”
我笑了笑,起身要出去。这时,小雅拉着我的手:“别告诉任何人我怀过那个混蛋的孩子!”
旅馆外,我伸了个懒腰,点燃一根烟,向着旁边的小吃一条街走去。
“张天琦!”听见有人在后面叫我。
回过头,赵璐正站在那里:“行啊,张天琦,我以为你是好人,没想到!”看来,赵璐是误会我了。
“赵璐,你听我解释!”“解释什么?连这个都被我捡到了!!”我惊讶的看着她手上拿着的单子,那是小雅打胎时候,医院开出的单据,可能是我出门的时候,掉在地上了。